The Ten Commandments - Lesson 7: The Fifth Commandment

The Ten Commandments

Lesson 7: The Fifth Commandment

Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you.

Ephesians 6:1-3 [1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: [3] “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.”

OBEY v.t.

1. To give ear to; to execute the commands of; to yield submission to; to comply with the orders of.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord. Eph. vi. 1.

“obey.” Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language 1913.

HONOR v.t.

1. To regard or treat with honor, esteem, or respect; to revere; to treat with deference and submission; when used of the Supreme Being, to reverence; to adore; to worship.

Honor thy father and thy mother. Ex. xx. 12.

That all men should honor the Son, even as they honor the Father. John v. 23.

“honor.” Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language 1913.

Main Points for this Commandment:

Children should obey their parents.

Children should also honor their parents, or treat their parents with respect, honor, and esteem.

Obedience and honoring go together. What should children do? Obey. How should children do this? With a good and proper attitude toward their parents. Children should obey with a good or pleasant attitude. To obey with a bad attitude (anger, rebellion, etc.) is not obeying God, who tells us to honor our father and mother.

This commandment is for fathers and mothers as well. While the commandment explicitly addresses children, it is to parents that God has given the primary responsibility of bringing up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So this commandment written explicitly to children (of all ages), it is written implicitly to parents, reminding them of their duty to daily teach their children the ways of God.

Suggestions:

Open each lesson with prayer for the teacher and the students and this class time.

Let the children know that this series of lessons is about the Ten Commandments. This lesson is about the fifth commandment: Honor your father and your mother.

Explain to the children that honoring your father and mother includes both obedience and respect. It has to do with both our actions and our attitudes.

The stories of Jesus with his parents (Luke 2:41-52) and of Samuel in the tabernacle (1 Samuel 3:1-14) can be helpful in illustrating this commandment. With the story in Luke 2, it can be pointed out that Jesus obeyed his parents. Then it could be asked, What kind of attitude do you think Jesus had when he went with his parents?

Jesus said that if we are faithful in little things we will be faithful in much. In the story of Samuel in 1 Samuel 3, we remember that Samuel was ready to listen to God. But the children could be asked, Who did Samuel listen to and obey first? With what kind of attitude do you think he obeyed, and why do you think that?

Close the lesson with prayer related to the subject and the students. Pray the Lord's Prayer together.

Stories:

Luke 2:41-52 [41] His parents went every year to Jerusalem at the feast of the Passover. [42] When he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem according to the custom of the feast, [43] and when they had fulfilled the days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. Joseph and his mother didn’t know it, [44] but supposing him to be in the company, they went a day’s journey, and they looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances. [45] When they didn’t find him, they returned to Jerusalem, looking for him. [46] After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them, and asking them questions. [47] All who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. [48] When they saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us this way? Behold, your father and I were anxiously looking for you.” [49] He said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Didn’t you know that I must be in my Father’s house?” [50] They didn’t understand the saying which he spoke to them. [51] And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth. He was subject to them, and his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. [52] And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

If anyone could have rightly declared his independence from his parents as a child, it was Jesus. Yet, even the Son of God, as a man, as a human child, was subject to his parents. That is, he honored and obeyed his parents.

1 Samuel 3:1-14 [1] The child Samuel ministered to Yahweh before Eli. Yahweh’s word was precious in those days; there was no frequent vision. [2] At that time, when Eli was laid down in his place (now his eyes had begun to grow dim, so that he could not see), [3] and the lamp of God hadn’t yet gone out, and Samuel had laid down in Yahweh’s temple, where the ark of God was; [4] Yahweh called Samuel; and he said, “Here I am.” [5] He ran to Eli, and said, “Here I am; for you called me.” He said, “I didn’t call; lie down again.” He went and lay down. [6] Yahweh called yet again, “Samuel!” Samuel arose and went to Eli, and said, “Here I am; for you called me.” He answered, “I didn’t call, my son; lie down again.” [7] Now Samuel didn’t yet know Yahweh, neither was Yahweh’s word yet revealed to him. [8] Yahweh called Samuel again the third time. He arose and went to Eli, and said, “Here I am; for you called me.” Eli perceived that Yahweh had called the child. [9] Therefore Eli said to Samuel, “Go, lie down: and it shall be, if he calls you, that you shall say, ‘Speak, Yahweh; for your servant hears.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. [10] Yahweh came, and stood, and called as at other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel said, “Speak; for your servant hears.” [11] Yahweh said to Samuel, “Behold, I will do a thing in Israel, at which both the ears of everyone who hears it shall tingle. [12] In that day I will perform against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from the beginning even to the end. [13] For I have told him that I will judge his house forever, for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves, and he didn’t restrain them. [14] Therefore I have sworn to the house of Eli, that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be removed with sacrifice nor offering forever.”

This is the story of God calling Samuel. Samuel was obedient to Eli. He readily came when he thought Eli was calling him, and was ready to listen. Because he was faithful to obey in this matter, God called him and spoke to him about greater matters.

More Stories and Examples:

Genesis 9:20-27 [20] Noah began to be a farmer, and planted a vineyard. [21] He drank of the wine and got drunk. He was uncovered within his tent. [22] Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. [23] Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it on both their shoulders, went in backwards, and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were backwards, and they didn’t see their father’s nakedness. [24] Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his youngest son had done to him. [25] He said, “Canaan is cursed. He will be a servant of servants to his brothers.” [26] He said, “Blessed be Yahweh, the God of Shem. Let Canaan be his servant. [27] May God enlarge Japheth. Let him dwell in the tents of Shem. Let Canaan be his servant.”

It seems that the implication is that Ham did not honor his father, Noah, in this matter, while Shem and Japheth did honor their father. We must be careful not to justify the sin of parents and those in authority. Yet we must be equally careful in such situations to treat with the appropriate respect and honor both the person involved and the sin (Galatians 6:1).

Genesis 18:16-19 [16] The men rose up from there, and looked toward Sodom. Abraham went with them to see them on their way. [17] Yahweh said, “Will I hide from Abraham what I do, [18] since Abraham has surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed in him? [19] For I have known him, to the end that he may command his children and his household after him, that they may keep the way of Yahweh, to do righteousness and justice; to the end that Yahweh may bring on Abraham that which he has spoken of him.”

Matthew 15:3-9 [3] He answered them, “Why do you also disobey the commandment of God because of your tradition? [4] For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother, let him be put to death.’ [5] But you say, ‘Whoever may tell his father or his mother, “Whatever help you might otherwise have gotten from me is a gift devoted to God,” [6] he shall not honor his father or mother.’ You have made the commandment of God void because of your tradition. [7] You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying, [8] ‘These people draw near to me with their mouth, and honor me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. [9] And in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrine rules made by men.’”

Luke 4:38-39 [38] He rose up from the synagogue, and entered into Simon’s house. Simon’s mother-in-law was afflicted with a great fever, and they begged him for her. [39] He stood over her, and rebuked the fever; and it left her. Immediately she rose up and served them.

Other Verses:

PARENTS' DUTY TOWARD CHILDREN

The commandment to honor your father and mother has much to do with the father and mother as well. How will children learn to honor their father and mother? It is clear from scripture that God has laid upon parents the primary responsibility for teaching their own children the commands and ways of the Lord. Anyone reading the fifth commandment ought to consider honestly their relationship with and treatment of their parents. Christian parents, in addition to this when reading the fifth commandment, ought to consider their own children and the godly instruction (or lack thereof) given to their children. Have they as as parents honored their Father in heaven by submitting to and obeying his instructions for parents to teach their own children his commands? It seems reasonable to say that parents that do not take the time to teach their own children the ways of God have broken this fifth commandment, in that they have not honored their Father in heaven in two ways: first they have disobeyed God's command to parents; second, they have left their children to walk in disobedience to God in relation to this fifth commandment.

Exodus 12:24-27 [24] You shall observe this thing for an ordinance to you and to your sons forever. [25] It shall happen when you have come to the land which Yahweh will give you, according as he has promised, that you shall keep this service. [26] It will happen, when your children ask you, ‘What do you mean by this service?’ [27] that you shall say, ‘It is the sacrifice of Yahweh’s Passover, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt, when he struck the Egyptians, and spared our houses.’” The people bowed their heads and worshiped.

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 [5] You shall love Yahweh your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. [6] These words, which I command you this day, shall be on your heart; [7] and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up.

[see also Deuteronomy 4:9-10; 11:19]

Joshua 24:14-15 [14] “Now therefore fear Yahweh, and serve him in sincerity and in truth. Put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the River, in Egypt; and serve Yahweh. [15] If it seems evil to you to serve Yahweh, choose this day whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve Yahweh.”

Ephesians 6:1-4 [1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: [3] “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.” [4] You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

HONORING PARENTS

Exodus 21:15 “Anyone who attacks his father or his mother shall be surely put to death.

Exodus 21:17 “Anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.

Leviticus 19:3 “‘Each one of you shall respect his mother and his father. You shall keep my Sabbaths. I am Yahweh your God.

Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as Yahweh your God commanded you; that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you, in the land which Yahweh your God gives you.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21 [18] If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son, who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and though they chasten him, will not listen to them; [19] then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, and to the gate of his place. [20] They shall tell the elders of his city, “This our son is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” [21] All the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall remove the evil from your midst. All Israel shall hear, and fear.

Proverbs 1:8-9 [8] My son, listen to your father’s instruction, and don’t forsake your mother’s teaching: [9] for they will be a garland to grace your head, and chains around your neck.

Proverbs 15:5 A fool despises his father’s correction, but he who heeds reproof shows prudence.

Proverbs 20:20 Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in blackness of darkness.

Proverbs 30:17 “The eye that mocks at his father, and scorns obedience to his mother: the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, the young eagles shall eat it.

Ephesians 6:1-4 [1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: [3] “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.” [4] You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

HONORING THE AGED

Leviticus 19:32 “‘You shall rise up before the gray head, and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God. I am Yahweh.

HONORING THOSE IN AUTHORITY

Romans 13:1-8 [1] Let every soul be in subjection to the higher authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and those who exist are ordained by God. [2] Therefore he who resists the authority, withstands the ordinance of God; and those who withstand will receive to themselves judgment. [3] For rulers are not a terror to the good work, but to the evil. Do you desire to have no fear of the authority? Do that which is good, and you will have praise from the same, [4] for he is a servant of God to you for good. But if you do that which is evil, be afraid, for he doesn’t bear the sword in vain; for he is a servant of God, an avenger for wrath to him who does evil. [5] Therefore you need to be in subjection, not only because of the wrath, but also for conscience’ sake. [6] For this reason you also pay taxes, for they are servants of God’s service, attending continually on this very thing. [7] Give therefore to everyone what you owe: taxes to whom taxes are due; customs to whom customs; respect to whom respect; honor to whom honor. [8] Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.

Hebrews 13:17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they watch on behalf of your souls, as those who will give account, that they may do this with joy, and not with groaning, for that would be unprofitable for you.

When parents teach and children learn honor to father and mother, such children can find it easier to obey their leaders and submit to them who watch over their souls. The command to honor father and mother does not end, and yet this command teaches the principle of honoring those in authority.

HONORING GOD (OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN)

Malachi 1:6-8 [6] “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If I am a father, then where is my honor? And if I am a master, where is the respect due me? Says Yahweh of Armies to you, priests, who despise my name. You say, ‘How have we despised your name?’ [7] You offer polluted bread on my altar. You say, ‘How have we polluted you?’ In that you say, ‘Yahweh’s table is contemptible.’ [8] When you offer the blind for sacrifice, isn’t that evil? And when you offer the lame and sick, isn’t that evil? Present it now to your governor! Will he be pleased with you? Or will he accept your person?” says Yahweh of Armies.

Romans 2:23-24 [23] You who glory in the law, through your disobedience of the law do you dishonor God? [24] For “the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you,” just as it is written.

By our actions are we honoring our earthly father and our heavenly Father? By our actions are we bringing honor or dishonor to the name of our earthly father and the to name of our heavenly Father?

Hebrews 12:7-11 [7] It is for discipline that you endure. God deals with you as with children, for what son is there whom his father doesn’t discipline? [8] But if you are without discipline, of which all have been made partakers, then are you illegitimate, and not children. [9] Furthermore, we had the fathers of our flesh to chasten us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much rather be in subjection to the Father of spirits, and live? [10] For they indeed, for a few days, punished us as seemed good to them; but he for our profit, that we may be partakers of his holiness. [11] All chastening seems for the present to be not joyous but grievous; yet afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been exercised thereby.

Parents discipline their children (whether punishment for wrong, or training for good), and they do so as they think is best. Children should be subject to them. Discipline is not always pleasant at the moment, but it has long term benefits. The writer of Hebrews presents his case that if we are (and of course should be) subject to our parents, then much more is it right for us to be subject to the Father of spirits.

PROLONG YOUR DAYS IN THE LAND

Ephesians 6:1-3 [1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: [3] “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.”

This commandment contains a promise from God to those who keep it. It should be noted that the promised blessing, while directly connected with the fifth of the Ten Commandments, is also connected with obedience to all of God's statutes and commandments.

Deuteronomy 4:39-40 [39] Know therefore this day, and lay it to your heart, that Yahweh himself is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath. There is no one else. [40] You shall keep his statutes, and his commandments, which I command you this day, that it may go well with you, and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land, which Yahweh your God gives you, forever.

Deuteronomy 6:1-2 [1] Now this is the commandment, the statutes, and the ordinances, which Yahweh your God commanded to teach you, that you might do them in the land where you go over to possess it; [2] that you might fear Yahweh your God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you; you, and your son, and your son’s son, all the days of your life; and that your days may be prolonged.

Deuteronomy 11:8-9 [8] Therefore you shall keep all the commandment which I command you this day, that you may be strong, and go in and possess the land, where you go over to possess it; [9] and that you may prolong your days in the land, which Yahweh swore to your fathers to give to them and to their seed, a land flowing with milk and honey.

Deuteronomy 25:13-16 [13] You shall not have in your bag diverse weights, one heavy and one light. [14] You shall not have in your house diverse measures, one large and one small. [15] You shall have a perfect and just weight. You shall have a perfect and just measure, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you. [16] For all who do such things, all who do unrighteously, are an abomination to Yahweh your God.

Psalm 34:11-14 [11] Come, you children, listen to me. I will teach you the fear of Yahweh. [12] Who is someone who desires life, and loves many days, that he may see good? [13] Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking lies. [14] Depart from evil, and do good. seek peace, and pursue it.

Proverbs 3:1-2 [1] My son, don’t forget my teaching; but let your heart keep my commandments: [2] for length of days, and years of life, and peace, will they add to you.